The Prank War
by evil superman
Summary: A little harmless fun turns into an all out war.
1. It Begins

Title: The Prank War.

Summary: A little harmless fun turns into an all out war.

Paring: None.

Warning: Nothing really I don't think. Takes place sometime after the Athosians start to move to the mainland.

Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis is not mine. Only the story line and any made up characters that may or may not appear in the story belong to me.

* * *

"Hey, Ford its show time, you set?" John quietly whispered, as he stuck his head inside Aiden's tent. 

The team (minus Teyla who had chosen to stay behind and help with the resettlement of the Athosians to the mainland) had shipped out to PX-8484 that morning on an over night recon mission and it hadn't taken long for John and Aiden to get bored. So of course John being John, he'd quickly come up with away to entertain them and have a little fun at Rodney's expense.

"Yes sir." Aiden replied as he came out of his tent carrying what appeared to be several bungi cords and some rope. "You know it's a good thing McKay is such a sound sleeper."

"Ain't that the truth."

The two men quietly crossed the small campsite and arrived at Rodney's tent. Silently entering the tent John grabbed the top of Rodney's sleeping bag and Aiden grabbed the bottom, very carefully they both lifted the sleeping bag, with a sleeping Rodney in it and exited the tent.

Gently setting Rodney down by the base of a near by tree, Aiden and John used the simple little pulley system they'd carefully (so as not to alert Rodney's attention to them) set up earlier that day and began to raise Rodney up into the tree. Once Rodney was in place the two men climbed up the tree themselves and began using the bungi cords and rope to tie Rodney to one of the strongest branches they could find. Finished John and Aiden returned to their own tents, eagerly awaiting morning.

* * *

The next morning Rodney slowly drifted awake, not quite ready wake up yet Rodney attempted to burrow deeper into his sleeping bag, it was then he noticed that he could hardly move. The fact that the ground had seemed to trade places with the sky effectively got his attention and woke him up. With a horror filled look Rodney discovered that some time during the night someone had tied him up in a tree. 

"AHHHHHHH! Somebody help genius scientist in trouble! " Rodney hollered, as he began panicking and tried to wiggle himself loose.

Hearing someone burst out laughing, Rodney's attention was diverted off to his right where he spotted Aiden doubled over on the ground laughing his head off, while John used a digital camcorder to get some lovely footage of a panicking Rodney. Realizing that he'd been had Rodney stopped wiggling and glared at John and Aiden.

"Ha, ha, very funny you two. You've had your fun now, so what do you say you get me the HELL down from here."

* * *

With the last of the Athosians settled on the mainland Elizabeth was finally able to take a minute for herself and relax. Standing out on the balcony near the control room Elizabeth was enjoying a nice cup of coffee when she was informed of an unauthorized gate activation. Sighing she quickly made her way into the control room where Grodin informed her that it was just Major Sheppard's team coming back half an hour early. 

Curious and just a little worried as to why they were coming back early Elizabeth made her way down to the gate room to greet the team. The first person to walk, or more like stomp, through the gate was a very pissed off looking Rodney, Aiden and John soon followed both sauntering along.

"Since I see no blood anywhere I take it your mission went according to plan." Elizabeth greeted the team.

"Yes ma'am." John answered, with a sly fox grin on his face. "We went, we saw, we got bored, we pissed off McKay with a little harmless fun, we came home."

"Harmless? Harmless fun!?" Rodney exploded, turning towards Elizabeth. "Do you have any idea what these…these…Neanderthals with the mentality of eight year olds did to me? They tied me up in a tree while I was sleeping last night, then they had the gall to video tape the whole thing and refuse to give me the tape."

"They did what?" Elizabeth, knowing that, that sound exactly like something a bored John would think up, tried to hide the small smile breaking out on her face.

Most commanders would most likely be appalled that someone under their command would do something like that, but Elizabeth knew that neither John nor Aiden had meant any harm they had just gotten bored. Not that she blamed them she probably would have gotten bored as well, PX-8484 hadn't really had much to offer to anyone but a few of Atlantis's scientists.

Seeing that he wasn't liable to get any sympathy from Elizabeth Rodney stormed out of the room, going off to do who knew what.

"Oh come on McKay it was just a little harmless fun!" John shouted after the retreating scientist. Rodney turned and shot John glare that said if looks could kill. John knew he was going to have hell to pay for this, but he felt that the whole thing had been worth it no matter what Rodney threw at him.

TBC?

* * *

A/N: Well there's the first chapter, review and let me know if you want the rest of the story or if I should just bag it. 


	2. Blue skinned

"Remind me again why I'm helping you in your childish behavior, because all I remember is making a suggestion for a possible revenge, not agreeing to help you carry it out." Carson whispered as he and Rodney quietly made their way through the hallways of Atlantis headed towards the sleeping quarters.

"Because." Rodney whispered back as they entered John's room.

"That's not an answer."

"It is to me. Now be quiet before you wake the major up."

Setting down the bag he'd been carrying Rodney pulled out a jar with a substance they'd found on one of the plants on the mainland, which had the odd effect of temporarily dying skin a blue-ish color. Looking like a kid in a candy store Rodney pulled on some latex gloves and carefully started applying the stuff to John's skin.

"I sill think this is a bad idea." A nervous Carson stood watch by the door making sure no one caught them.

"Oh quit being so jumpy." Rodney briefly stopped what he was doing, reached back into the bag and pulled out a second pair of gloves and another jar, handing them to Carson. "Here make yourself useful and go across the hall to Ford's room."

Mumbling something under his breath and swearing in Scottish Carson took the jar, and headed for Aiden's room. When both were finished, they quickly cleaned up all evidence they'd been there at all and quietly went their own ways.

* * *

In the morning both John and Aiden woke up oblivious to what had been done to them. Both men, none the wiser, went about their morning routines. It wasn't until they got a look at themselves in their bathroom mirrors that they noticed anything wrong. 

Shocked at seeing that some time during the night most of their skin had turned blue, both John and Aiden rushed out of their rooms only to be greeted with the sight of the other being just as blue. After seeing each other it didn't take long for the two to figure out who was behind their new skin color.

"RODNEY!!!!"

* * *

Feeling quite smug with himself Rodney entered the control room, nodding his greetings to the others in the room. Elizabeth could tell something was up Rodney was never this cheerful first thing in the morning; in fact he could be down right nasty some mornings. 

"What'd you do this time Rodney?" Elizabeth questioned. Seeing the self-satisfied look on Rodney's face Elizabeth had a sinking feeling her life was about to get that much more hectic.

Before Rodney could answer two very loud, very angry voices could be heard hollering his name from down the hall. Recognizing who the voices belonged to Rodney, knowing he would be outnumbered at the moment, went to make a hasty retreat, but was stopped when Elizabeth, who also recognized the voices, grabbed his arm.

At that moment two very blue and very angry officers burst into the room. Getting her first look at a blue John and Aiden, Elizabeth couldn't help the burst of laughter that escaped. She'd known Rodney was upset with the two officers, but she'd had no idea he'd go so far in order to get revenge.

When Elizabeth had started laughing her grip on Rodney's arm loosened and Rodney took that as his chance to flee. While John and Aiden briefly turned their attention towards Elizabeth, Rodney quickly and quietly slipped out of the room and on to the nearest transporter.

"We'll deal with you later." John assured Elizabeth as he caught Rodney's flight out of the corner of his eye. "But at the moment we have some scientist hunting to do." With that the two men left the control room in search of Rodney.

* * *

By noon John and Aiden still hadn't had any luck in finding Rodney. Deciding to take a brief lunch break the two, much to their humiliation, entered the commissary, grabbed some food and then left again, wanting to find some place they could eat in peace. 

"I can't believe McKay actually had the guts to pull this on us." Aiden stated as the two sat on one of the balconies eating their lunch. "I mean he must've known we'd retaliate."

"Yeah no kidding." John agreed. "But you know I've been thinking about it and I'm positive Rodney didn't come up with and pull this off on all on his own."

"How do you figure that sir?"

"Because I know for a fact that Rodney hasn't been to the mainland for over a week and the only other place he could have gotten that plant substance stuff was from one of the medical lockers which only Carson has access to."

"So we've basically been looking for the wrong guy all morning."

"And you know what that means?"

"It means war."

"Exactly."

John and Aiden spent the rest of the afternoon trying to work out several different revenge plots they could pull on Rodney and Carson. It wasn't easy, having no way to get many of the things they would have needed and not wanting to waste any of the few needed supplies they had on Atlantis, the two had, had to do a lot of improvising, but by the end of the day they felt they'd come up with a nice workable idea.


	3. Transporter Passes

Rodney was beginning to get worried, it had been several days since he'd pulled his prank on John and Aiden and they had yet to retaliate. Rodney was starting to get paranoid; everywhere he went he was always looking over his shoulder and what not.

Carson wasn't quite as paranoid as Rodney since neither John nor Aiden had indicated they knew Carson had been in on the prank, but that didn't mean they didn't suspect, so Carson was being cautious everywhere he went as well.

"Maybe they aren't going to retaliate, maybe they're trying to be grown up about this whole thing." Carson stated as he and Rodney sat in the commissary eating breakfast.

"Are you that naïve?" Rodney questioned. "Of course they're going to retaliate. They're probably just trying to build it up a bit with some suspense, since odds are its not going to be anywhere near as genius as ours was."

"I hope you're right."

"Of course I'm right, I'm always right." With that Rodney went back to eating his food and Carson followed suite.

* * *

"T-1 targets are on the move headed your way." John's voice announced over the radio. 

"Roger that sir." Aiden replied from where he was standing in front of one of the transporters, along with two Sergeants. "All right you two know what to do."

Aiden left the two Sergeants by the transporter and met up with John down the opposite hallway that Rodney and Carson were coming down, so they wouldn't be seen. Soon Carson and Rodney arrived at the transporter and tried to get on, but were stopped by the two Sergeants.

"We need to see your transporter passes." One Sergeant spoke.

"Our what?" Carson sounded confused.

"Your transporter passes sirs. Dr. Weir felt that all the excessive transporter use was an un-necessary drain on power. So the only way you can use the transporter is if you have a pass."

"You're joking right? This is some kind of joke." Rodney couldn't believe it.

Just then a Captain and a Lt. came walking up to the transporter. Stopping the two pulled out their passes when asked for their transporter passes. The Sergeants looked the passes over and then allowed the two on the transporter.

"No sir. If you have a problem with it you'll have to take it up with Dr. Weir, we're just following orders." The Sergeant, turning back to Rodney, answered the question.

Watching Rodney and Carson take off, presumably to try and find a different transporter to use, which they wouldn't find since all the transporters from that level all the way to the control room had guards, John and Aiden came out of hiding, huge grins on their faces.

Congratulating the two Sergeants and the Captain and Lt., who hadn't actually gone anywhere on the transporter just stood inside it, on a job well done John and Aiden left to set up phase two.

* * *

"Do you think the Major and Lt. are pulling their prank on us?" Carson asked as he and Rodney started down yet another set of stairs. 

"Can't be." Rodney replied.

"Why not?"

"Because for one thing it would be too brilliant a prank for those two Neanderthals to come up with and two we did both miss that last staff meeting because of unavoidable reasons, so it is possible these passes are for real and Weir just hasn't had a chance to inform us yet."

* * *

"Major target one is headed your way." Aiden informed John over the radio. 

"Copy that." John responded, then turned to Peter. "Alright Grodin your up."

"Yes sir."

John left the control room moments before Rodney entered with out Carson, who had been called away to the infirmary. Not seeing Elizabeth right away Rodney figured she was in her office and was about to head in there when he was stooped by Peter.

"Dr. McKay I'm afraid you can't go in there right now."

"And why not?"

"Dr. Weir is very busy at the moment and has asked not to be disturbed. But perhaps I can be of assistance."

"Depends what do you know about these transporter passes?"

"I take it this means you haven't been to your lab yet today?"

"No I haven't what's that got to do with anything?"

"Since you were unable to attend the last staff meeting and Dr. Weir knew she would be busy all day she had a memo about the new passes and the request form delivered to your lab first thing this morning."

"Right of course she would. I guess I'll just head there then." With out another word Rodney left the control room headed for his lab.

Once Peter was sure Rodney was out of earshot he keyed his radio, "Target one has left the control one and is headed for his lab."

"Roger that. Target two has just arrived in the infirmary." Ford replied.

* * *

Upon arriving in the infirmary Carson was surprised to find no one but the occasional nurse around. After questioning one of them Carson was informed that no, none of them had paged him to the infirmary and that they hadn't had anyone in there all morning. 

Figuring he might as well get some paper work done since he was there Carson entered his office and sat down to begin working. Reaching over to pick up his lap top Carson found that it wouldn't budge, confused he tried lifting other various items off his desk only to discover they wouldn't budge either, someone had super glued everything on his desk to the desk. Carson had a good idea who was behind the super glue and why.

"Sheppard, Ford." Carson whispered under his breath. It was going to take Carson forever to get everything pulled off his desk.

"Target two has received glue surprise." Aiden's voice came over the radio.

"Understood. Target one has reached his lab." John responded.

* * *

Reaching his lab Rodney quickly moved over to his desk and pulled out his chair intending to sit down. But when he pulled his chair out all of the none breakable things that had been on his desk came flying off. It didn't take Rodney long to learn that fishing wire had been tied to the things on his desk and his chair. 

"Ha, ha very funny Major, if this is the best you can come up with then I've already won." Rodney ignoring the mess on the floor turned to his desk and spotted a folder that had to be at least an inch think with 'Transporter Pass' written on it.

Figuring Elizabeth had sent more then just a memo and request form for him to look at Rodney opened the folder and skimmed the first page, which was just the memo telling him all about the transporter passes and why they were being used. Setting the first page aside Rodney was surprised to see the next page was the beginning of the request form, it seemed like there were a million pages he had to fill out in order to get a stupid pass.

Muttering something about evil paper work Rodney got to work filling out the request form.

* * *

It wasn't until a few hours later when he'd finallygotten everything unglued from his desk that Carson noticed the folder with 'Transporter Pass' written on it. Curious as to what might be in it Carson opened the folder and found the same things inside that Rodney had and like Rodney, Carson quickly got started on filling it out.

* * *

By the time Rodney and Carson had finished filling out the request forms and found a free moment it was well into the evening. Entering the control room at around the same time both spotted Elizabeth speaking with John, Aiden, and Peter. 

"Alright we've filled out your stupid little request form." Rodney in formed Elizabeth. "Now can we have are passes?"

"Rodney I have no idea what you're talking about." Elizabeth stated.

"You know the transporter passes, so we can use the transporters…" Carson spoke up.

Noticing the confused look on Elizabeth's face both men looked at each other for a second then turned their gaze on the others. Seeing the smug little grins on John and Aiden's faces and the amused look on Peter's, it dawned on Rodney and Carson that the transporter passes _had_ been the real prank and the whole thing with the super glue and fishing wire had been a distraction and Elizabeth had, had no idea about any of it.

"This isn't over, not by a long shot." Rodney threatened, pointing a finger at John and Aiden, before storming out of the control room followed by Carson.

A confused Elizabeth watched the retreating forms of her CMO and head scientist, before turning back to the others.

"What was that all about?" Elizabeth asked only to have John hand her one the folders Rodney and Carson had left behind. Taking a minute to skim through the papers in the folder Elizabeth couldn't help the surprise as well as admiration that entered her voice. "You didn't?"

John and Aiden just grinned their goofy smug little grins and left the room.

* * *

A/N: Hey this story won't be over for another few chapters or so but I do have an idea for how to end it but I need a really good one last prank so if you have any ideas or anything I'd like to hear them and see if you might have something better than me. 


	4. Soapsuds

A/N: Thanks everyone who's reviewed this story so far.

One reviewer (I'm afraid I can't remember who, I didn't have access to the site when I wrote this) wanted to know how John and Aiden convinced all those people to help them with their prank in the last chapter: Just think of it this way Rodney's not exactly Mr. Popularity and well Carson was just an added bonus. The people on Atlantis have a very stressful job, they need to vent some how.

* * *

It wasn't long before Rodney and Carson came up with a plan of retaliation. After taking a couple of days to get their supplies in order and work out any bugs that there might have been the two were ready to put their plan in action. 

While John and Aiden were off doing their various duties around the city Rodney and Carson snuck first into Aiden's room.

"Ok I got the buckets of hot water and liquid detergent." Rodney verified.

"And I got the dry ice." Carson answered.

Putting two buckets of warm water in the middle of Aiden's room Rodney quickly dumped a whole bottle of liquid detergent in each bucket, while Carson crushed up some of the dry ice. Once the dry ice was crushed to satisfactory size some of it was placed in each bucket.

Standing back the two briefly watched as soapsuds began rising out of the buckets and start filling up the room, before leaving and entering John's room to repeat the process. Pleased with themselves Carson and Rodney went their separate ways returning to their own work acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

* * *

After a long hard day John and Aiden returned to their rooms wanting nothing more than to just lie down and sleep. It was much to their surprise and irritation when they opened the doors to their rooms and had a mountain of soapsuds flow out into the hall all over them. 

"McKay." John muttered in a low tight voice.

"Beckett." Aiden muttered in a low tight voice as well.

* * *

Finally finished with all her paperwork for the day Elizabeth left her office headed for her room. Along the way she passed the common room and briefly glanced inside before continuing by. The fact that something was off about the room at this time of night registered with Elizabeth seconds later and had her back tracking. 

This time looking more closely Elizabeth noticed a pair of feet hanging over one side of the couch and a hand hanging over the other side. Investigating closer she realized that it was John sprawled out on the couch trying to sleep.

"Do I even want to know why you're trying to sleep here instead of in your room?" Elizabeth questioned as she came to the front of the couch, where she spotted Aiden trying to sleep on the floor.

John just glared at her and pointed towards the opposite hallway she'd come from, that led to his and Aiden's rooms. Looking down the hall Elizabeth noticed the huge mound of soapsuds that came out of John's room as well as Aiden's and filled the space between the two rooms.

"All I'm going to say is you two started it." Elizabeth walked out of the room leaving the two very tired and very unhappy officers to sleep; dealing with this latest prank could wait till morning, it was late and Elizabeth was tired.

* * *

The next day with the help of a few good Samaritans John and Aiden had the soapsuds pretty well cleaned up. For the next few days afterwards Rodney and Carson silently gloated over their prank, but also at the same time, out of pure survival instincts, stayed out of the Major and Lt.'s way. 

When several off world missions and others things came up the guys all got swamped with work and their little war was pushed aside, but not forgotten, for the time being. It was weeks before the next prank was pulled.

* * *

In the early hours of morning two shadowy figures silently crept down the deserted hallways of Atlantis headed towards the sleeping quarters. The silent figures were on a mission and nothing would deter them. Entering the room of one of their unsuspecting victims, who was currently in the shower, the two figures carefully, for being caught would lead to disaster, went about fulfilling their mission. Done in the first room the figures continued on to the next until their whole mission was complete. 

Soon their victims would discover what had been done and then the war would be over and the shadowy figures would have the last laugh.

* * *

A/N: All right one more chapter to go and maybe an epilogue and this story will be finished. 

So who were the shadowy figures? What'd they do? Who won the prank war? To find out the answers you'll have to keep reading.


	5. AWOL Clothing

Stepping out of the shower John wrapped a towel around his waist and went about his morning routine. Finished in the bathroom he walked out into the main part of his room and headed for his bed where he'd laid out his clothes for the day, only to find they weren't there.

Thinking he must have forgotten to lay them out before getting in the shower John moved over to the dresser like thing where he kept his clothes. Opening the first drawer he was surprised to find it empty, getting a sinking feeling in his gut John opened all the other drawers finding them all empty as well; someone had stolen all of his clothes.

Rushing over to the nightstand John grabbed his radio and contacted Aiden.

* * *

Waking up Aiden carefully rolled himself out of bed and still slightly asleep stumbled into the bathroom. After taking care of business in the bathroom he remerged in the main room intending to get dressed, only to find that (like John) all of his clothes where gone, with the exception of the boxers he was wearing. 

Confused and slightly shocked about the fact that all his clothes were missing it took Aiden a minute to realize John was calling him over the radio.

"Ford here sir." Aiden picked up his radio.

"Hey just out of curiosity do you happen to be missing anything, like oh I don't know maybe all of your clothes?" John questioned.

"With the exception of the boxers I'm wearing yes sir. How'd you know?"

"Because _all_ of mine are missing, I was left with nothing but a towel."

"McKay and Beckett?"

"Who else? …"

* * *

Before John could finish what he'd been saying a loud banging on his door interrupted him. Making sure his towel was secure John opened his door slightly only to be greeted with the site of Rodney in nothing but boxers and a small blanket wrapped around his shoulders. 

Across the hall John could see Carson standing in front of Aiden's open door wearing only a pair of pajama shorts and a tank top and Aiden standing there in his boxers.

"Give us back all of our clothes right now and this doesn't have to get ugly." Rodney demanded, drawing John's attention back to him.

"Very funny Rodney, we didn't take your clothes and you know it. So why don't you two give us back _our_ clothes and we _might_ let you live."

"What are you talking about? We didn't take your clothes you took ours." Carson spoke up.

"No you took ours." Aiden jumped in.

Before the conversation could get really ugly someone down the hall whistling at them distracted the group. Turning the guys were shocked and slightly embarrassed to see Teyla and Elizabeth, who had a pair of boxers dangling off one finger, standing a little ways down the hall from them, both having triumphant grins on their faces.

"Now I wonder who these could belong to?" Elizabeth questioned, referring to the Superman boxers she had dangling from here finger. Both Teyla and Elizabeth almost lost it laughing when they saw Rodney's face go red.

"Wait…you…and…you." John stammered pointing at the two ladies. "But…how…why?"

"We did it to show you all how childish you have been acting." Teyla clarified for the guys.

"Yes this little war of yours has gone on long enough, and since all of you are too damn stubborn to admit defeat _we _decided to ended it once and for all." Elizabeth agreed.

"Ok fine you win, can we have our clothes, _all_ of our clothes back now?" Rodney questioned, not liking the fact that a pair of his boxers were being put on display.

"No."

"No? What the bloody hell do you mean no?" Carson demanded.

"Yeah what he said." Aiden spoke up.

"If you end this little war of yours and begin to act like adults again, we will give you back one item of clothing for every time we feel you have earned the right to have that one item of clothing back. We will start with socks and work up from there." Teyla laid out the ground rules.

"Wait you mean we have to earn back our clothing?" Rodney couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You can't be serious?"

"What are you complaining about? At least you have a pair of boxers to wear." John, kicking himself for not having thought of something like this, turned on Rodney.

"Now, now boys this isn't helping you to get your cloths back any faster." Elizabeth butted in, before the two men really got started in on each other. "Now Teyla what do you say we leave the men here to sort out their behavior and you and I go get some breakfast."

"That sounds like a lovely idea."

Walking away from the stunned men Elizabeth couldn't help throwing one last triumphant grin over her shoulder at them before disappearing around a corner.

"I'll be damned. Who would have thought those two would be such diabolically evil master minds?" John commented retreating back into his room.

"Yeah, sure makes you glad they're on our side don't it?" Aiden piped in, before disappearing into his own room as well.

Not having anything they could do about the whole situation Rodney and Carson, both muttering something about evil women being the death of them, returned to their own rooms.

* * *

A/N: Kudos to cripeswolfdee for guessing who the shadowy figures were even before I decided on it definitely. And highonscifi just keep reading and reviewing my storiesand you'll be perfectly safe. 


	6. Sucking Up

A/N: Dang near all of you asked for at least one more chapter so I decided to give you one because I was sitting in my second hour class when I started writing this and I didn't feel like doing the stupid assignment that the stupid sub, who didn't know what the hell she was talking about, gave us. So enjoy.

One reviewer, I think it was sgafan33 if I remember right, asked something about why so many fics have McKay with cartoon boxers. I can't speak for any of the other authors but I gave him Superman boxers as a kind of funny jab at the Superman comment McKay made in the episode 'The Storm' (Even though this supposedly takes place before that episode, but that's beside the point).

* * *

"Shhh, quite before you wake up the whole city." John whispered as Rodney bumped into one of the commissary tables, again. 

"Well excuse me if I can't see in the dark as well as you can." Rodney snapped. It was nearly 4:30 in the morning and Rodney was not happy about being pulled out of bed so early.

"How about you both shut up so we can get this over with." Carson spoke, he wasn't any happier about being out of bed so early either, but knew it was necessary if they wanted to get the last of their clothing back.

It had a couple of weeks since Teyla and Elizabeth had stolen the guys' clothes and true to their word they'd made the guys earn back every piece of clothing. Although Elizabeth and Teyla had taken pity on John and given him back a pair of boxers as a freebie, so that he didn't have to go around with nothing but a towel on, but other than that the guys had, had to worked hard earning back their clothing all that was left now was most of their shirts.

Before they'd managed to get back any clothing John, Aiden, and Rodney had been forced to do a little begging and bargaining with various other people in the city for some spare clothing so that they could at least move around the city with a little less embarrassment, not that any of the ladies were complaining about getting to see the guys going around with out much clothing on. John had managed to scrounge up a pair of pajama pants to wear, Aiden had managed a pair of sweat pants, and Rodney had managed a pair of shorts.

"Yeah remind me again why we're up at this god awful hour." Aiden questioned, trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

"For the last time if we have any hope of getting the last of our clothing back we have to do something big for Teyla and Weir and what better way to do that then with breakfast in bed?" John reminded the group, seeing the looks on their faces he continued. "Well ok maybe not exactly breakfast in bed but you get the idea."

"Yeah about that, incase you hadn't noticed none of us can actually cook." Rodney spoke what was on everybody's minds.

"Individually, no none of us can cook worth a damn, but if we put our heads together and use a little team work I think we can pull off a decent meal."

It took the guys a little over an hour and a half and a few trips to the infirmary for some minor cuts and burns, but they were finally done. Now all they had to do was wait for their guests of honor.

* * *

"Major, Dr. Weir has just entered her office and Sgt. Stackhouse just reported seeing Teyla leaving her quarters." Peter's voice came over John's radio. "We'll be sending them your way shortly." 

"Six thirty on the dot, both right on schedule. Thank you Grodin we owe you guys one." John answered.

"Not having to see you guys walk around half clothed, stealing all the attention of the women around here will be payment enough."

"Smart-ass."

* * *

It was daily routine for Elizabeth, before heading off to the commissary for breakfast, to stop by her office and the control room every morning to see how things were going and to grab the status reports the night watch usually left either on her desk or with Peter, who no matter what always seemed to be there before her. 

Entering her office Elizabeth picked up the night's status reports and briefly flipped through them. Seeing nothing that required her immediate attention she set them back on her desk to look at later and left her office, intending to head off to the commissary.

"Dr. Weir." Peter got Elizabeth's attention.

"Yes Peter." Elizabeth stopped, giving Peter her attention.

"If you're not too busy Major Sheppard has requested your presence on the balcony near the commissary, says he has something to show you."

"It's no problem I was just headed that way. I'll stop and see what he wants."

With that Elizabeth left the control room going to see what John was up to now.

* * *

Teyla was just getting ready to begin her morning jog through one of the lesser used areas of the city when she spotted Sgt. Stackhouse heading in her direction, giving a slight wave indicating he needed to speak with her. 

"What can I do for you Sgt.?"

"I have a message from Major Sheppard. He's asked that you join him on the balcony near the commissary, if you're not to busy. Says he has something he wants to show you."

"Of course I will go there now. Thank you for giving me the message."

Watching as the Sgt. walked away Teyla left in the opposite direction headed towards the commissary to see what John wanted to show her.

* * *

Both heading towards the balcony Elizabeth and Teyla soon met up and learned that John had summoned them both. Curious about just what John was up to the two ladies quickened their pace slightly. 

"Good morning ladies." John greeted Teyla and Elizabeth just outside the door that led to the balcony. "If you would both be so kind as to follow me."

Before either women had the chance to speak John had ushered them out on to the balcony, where they were greeted with the site of one of the smaller commissary tables and a couple of chairs that the guys had temporarily hijacked as well as Aiden, Carson, and Rodney standing off to one side.

The table had been set for two and had what appeared to be real breakfast foods, not the military excuse for food, set out on it. Leading them over to the table John pulled out one of the chairs for Elizabeth while Aiden pulled out the other one for Teyla.

"Alright what are you guys up to now?" Elizabeth couldn't help the hint of worry that slipped into to her voice.

"Yes I would also like to know what is going on." Teyla was a bit skeptical about what the guys were up to.

"Well we figured it was time we showed our appreciation for all the hard work you two do around here, by making you a real homemade breakfast." John spoke for the group.

"Yeah and it's even real food, all of which has been declared editable." Rodney jumped in. "The eggs came from the mainland. We used the Athosian version of flour to make some bread, well actually the cooks started the bread last night, but it was out idea and we pulled it out of the oven this morning."

"And we traded with the Athosians for some meat so you could have some bacon and sausage or at least something close to it." Aiden added. "We also found what we assume is this planets version of oranges and used those to make you something that tastes pretty close to orange juice."

"And the best part is the view." Carson pointed over the railing towards the horizon. There were a few clouds scattered across the horizon and as they all watched they could just see the sun starting to rise, giving the clouds an orange-ish red color. It was quite a breath taking view.

"So basically this is your way of sucking up, hoping to get the last of your clothes back." Elizabeth, turning her attention back to the guys, said it as more of a statement than a question.

"Depends is it working?" John didn't even try to hide the hope that entered his voice as he watched Elizabeth and Teyla have a quick and quiet discussion.

"We will have to wait and see just how editable your cooking is before we make our finale decision." Teyla replied to John's question.

"Oh and did we mention that you two are getting the first meal made with real food and not military rations out of anyone in the whole city?"

"John." Elizabeth gave John a warning glare that said don't push it.

"Right, shutting up now. Enjoy your meal."

All four men stood silently holding their breaths as Teyla and Elizabeth ate their food. Finally after about an hour the two had finished their meal, they'd enjoyed prolonging the meal and purposely making the guys sweat, and were ready to come to a decision. Taking a few minutes to confer with each other they made their decision.

"You may have the last of your clothing back." Teyla pronounced much to the pleasure of the four men.

* * *

A/N: Sorry if this chapter was kind of crappy. I didn't really like it myself I just couldn't seem to get it quite right. But after rewriting it like fifty million times I finally just said screw it and posted what I had. So that's it, that's the end, no more from this story. Hope you enjoyed. 


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